Jessi has been my best friend since second grade. We do everything together, we can talk about anything, and I never get tired of spending time with her. I can always count on her to make me laugh, hear me out, and support me.
Or at least I used to.
Alyssa came into the picture the second week of our freshman year, and she changed everything. She was nice at first: asking to eat lunch with us, walking home with us, and smiling at us in class, that sort of thing. But then she started bringing her two best friends, Tracy and Natalie, along with her. Not that I wasn’t happy to make new friends, but Alyssa, Tracy and Natalie were kind of cliquish. To anyone else it looks like the five of us hang out all the time, and they might assume that we’re all best friends. But really, although we’re together a lot, Alyssa stopped including me once Tracy and Natalie came in, and Jessi....well, she kind of went along with Alyssa. And now even when it’s just me and Jessi, all she wants to talk about is stylish Natalie, hilarious Tracy and awesome Alyssa. Oh, and I can’t call her “Jessi” anymore--it’s “Jessica”, because “Jessi” is her “childish nickname”.
And I’m beginning to feel like I’m her childish friend.
Now it’s mid-October, and Jessi is still acting like Alyssa. They even dress alike now, and in the past Jessi was always very secure about her taste in clothes.
Today our class is taking a field trip to a nature center. Jessi sits with Alyssa, Tracy and Natalie in the back of the bus, and I find a seat in the middle. Their laughs dig into me like knives the whole way there.
Once the class is in the nature center the teacher, Mrs. Baker, explains that we have to take a hike to get to the other center where we’ll learn (through a lecture) about the animals that live in the woods surrounding the center.
It’s chilly outside but not unbearable. The woods smells like leaves and slightly like a campfire. I can hear the chirping of birds and the movement of an animal in the bushes. After some walking we come across a small creek, and as we pass by I catch a glimpse of a frog before it jumps into the water.
Jessi and her new friends fall behind the rest of the group, and I’m surprised when I hear:
“Psst! Lily!” I don’t have to look to know it’s Jessi speaking. I turn around and see that she and the others have stopped walking and are pointing exciting to a plant. I leave the group and go to where they stand. I look to where they’re pointing and see that it’s another path that’s concealed by some overgrown plants.
“That’s neat.” I say.
“Let’s follow it.” says Alyssa. Tracy and Natalie nod excitedly and Jessi pushes the plants aside.
“Wait,” I say, “Don’t you guys think we should stay with our class?”
“And get lectured on animals? Uh, no thanks.” Natalie says, flicking her hand at me like I’m a pesky fly.
“Come on, Lily!” Jessi says. “It’ll be fun.” She steps over the plants and takes a few steps down the path. Natalie and Tracy follow.
“Join us.” Alyssa says in an almost whisper as she brushes past me. Her voice sends a shiver up my spine. I hesitate. I don’t feel like being lectured on animals, but I also don’t feel like getting in trouble. Which one is worse?
“I can’t.” I say. Jessi looks disappointed, hurt even, and Alyssa just smirks. Tracy and Natalie fake sighs and the three of them turn and walk down the path. Jessi holds my eyes for another second before she joins them. I watch until they’ve disappeared into the trees and sigh. Then I turn and run to catch up with the class. I join them just as they’re entering the building, and luckily the teacher doesn’t seem to know I was gone.
As the class settles in to listen to the lecture I start to think about what Alyssa said. The way she said “Join us.” makes me think that she wasn’t just talking about joining them on the hidden path. She was talking about joining her clique--Jessi, Tracy, and Natalie. I had been invited into her group.
And I turned it down.
~3 Years Later~
Do I regret not joining them on the path? I did for awhile, but now I’m glad I didn’t. In the months that followed I wished I had because I wanted to be friends with Jessi again. But now I’m glad I didn’t, because on the last day of my junior year Jessi came to my house and apologized for not being there for me. And now we’re closer than ever. And Alyssa? She hangs out with Tracy and Natalie and the three of them shoot us dirty looks. But that’s a small price to pay for being friends with Jessi again.
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